Accepting Imperfection

Scripture Reading : 1 Timothy 1:12-17

"Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners - of whom I am the worst." - 1 Timothy 1:15

Accepting imperfection can be easy to certain people or it can be tough for the rest. However, accepting our imperfection does not mean that we accept it and we just live with it. Accepting our imperfection is like we know our mistakes and we are sinners.. But it does not reflect that we should jeopardize ourselves further. We must come to our senses that we have done mistakes, realize it and improve ourselves. 

God will help those who are willing to help themselves. He helps those who repent. He helps those who believe in Him. Though, we shall not take Him for granted. We cannot depend on God to save us, the sinners, when we in purpose still continuously behaving badly.

Dear Father, thank you for allowing me to realize my imperfections and move on to be a better person. May you bless me abundantly and realize your love for me is infinite. In Jesus name, Amen.

Considerate : Plastic Surgery

In this era, I guess getting a plastic surgery has become a normal routine for many people. However, in this society that we are living in, there are always critiques. The society is divided into 3 categories. One who accepts, one who rejects and one who is always sitting on the fence. Either way, I sum up the 3 of them.

I will speak this with just my opinions.

I have seen a few of the famous bloggers who have gotten themselves plastic surgeries. They have the courage to post about it and share to the public. Of course, when your personal life stories are being posted online, you probably have to anticipate for the nasty or encouraging comments from the readers. Some people who cannot accept the sudden change by the knife will definitely leave nasty comments that critic the person. Going beyond the line, some may even leave hatred comments saying how wannabes they look or how fake they look. These readers will never know how their comments will influence that person.

I feel bad for the person who has undergone plastic surgery to read those comments. I feel that we as the third party, have to learn how to be considerate to people. Why?

Here are my thoughts to it.

When they have already risk their lives and investing their fortunes into this operation, we, the third party do not have much rights to vandalize them morally and mentally. You can never feel the anxiety and worries that they have to go through before entering the operation room. Yes, you will definitely lash back by saying "why choose to do it?". People are given choices in life on how they want to live it. So, when they have chosen a different path from what you are taking, do not complain. They have never been chained to you to follow your principles in life. As one has made a decision to walk that road, be RESPECTFUL and SUPPORTIVE.

Well, you are allowed to advise them but if they have settled their mind on it, the least and most you can do is stand by them. They always have their reasons that shape them to think that way. Try putting yourself in their shoes. Imagine the horror of the knife cutting through you. Then, replace the person on the operating table with the actual person going through it. Remember that the person who is taking the risk is NOT you.

That is why the third party for example the readers or any other strangers on the road shall not give them a disgusted look and comments. No matter how bad you cannot accept that fact and you want to express it so badly, please be kind with your words. Do not use harsh words that bring their confidence level down. Put in some supportive words among your not so nice sentences to be a nicer person.

One harsh comment is able to ruin a person's day but one supportive comment is able to brighten up their day as well. I personally do not feel any harm being a nicer person. You feel good, they feel good, everyone feels good!

Bad News : Sad to say, this cruel society can never promise that.

Surrender to Him

We had a discussion about surrendering yourself to Him.

 The questions right here are :
1. Do you believe and have faith in Him for you to surrender?
2. How MUCH are you willingly to surrender?

In our lives, we face many hardships and obstacles. When they occur, we always ask help from God. "Dear Lord, please help me to get through this tiring day." or "Dear Lord, please help me to solve this problem, I do not have a solution for it.". Is this what you called surrendering to Him? From my point of view, I do not think so. It is just merely seeking help from the Almighty One when you know you have met a dead end. This would be more like taking advantage from Him. But of course, when He helps, He really helps. So, when your problems are solved, you only remember the success and joy from the outcomes and you totally forgot about Him who helped.

To the first question : Do you believe and have faith in Him for you to surrender?

Surrendering to Him meaning that you willingly get up from your throne of your life and pleasantly invite God to take over the seat. This action truly means that every move and decision that you are about to make, you will make a "report" to Him first, therefore, allowing him to lead your next road that you are about to take. When you choose to do this, the first and very first you need to instill in yourself is to have a strong faith in Him. If you do not believe in Him, you will not accept the outcome or decision chosen by Him for you because you have so little trust in Him. You will doubt the choices made and it is a 50 50 chance that you will stray from His decisions. Start believing and develop faith for God if you want to surrender yourself to Him. Of course, you cannot immediately jump to the highest level of belief.. because we are human. It is the nature of us human that in the beginning we do not believe on something that seems abstract and unreal to you. However, with baby steps, day by day you pray to Him, you talk to Him, you will eventually feel his presence getting stronger. From there, you can proceed to have a strong faith in Him. During the process, you will show that you surrender to Him little by little. I do not feel that it is a need to rush in these because we need to have a strong and concrete foundation or base so that in the future if you ever fall, you still have a base for you to land and support you. Then, you will not fall flat to the ground. 

To the second question :  How MUCH are you willingly to surrender?

After passing the first question, the second question tests you. How much? Saying that "I will surrender all to Him" is easy but actually fulfilling it is another story. Usually we only surrender to Him when we cannot solve our problems or we need an answer for something crucial. My friend mentioned(something similar) " How about the little things in life such as buying a computer? Have we ever have Him across our minds when we want to purchase a laptop? The answer was NO. He said that we will just decide ourselves on the colour, brand, specifications and type based on our own preference. Why would we need to ask Him for this?". This is when the actual definition of surrendering to Him is explained. Surrendering to Him means that you allow God to take control of your life. As long as it is a decision to be made, you will ask Him first. It brings no harm to make a small prayer before buying a laptop or small little things like that. In fact, the laptop you have brought may actually lasts and breakdown at minimal chance because you allow Him to guide you through the decision and select the best choice. This is one of the ways to allow yourself to have a stronger relationship with God. You accept his presence at all times. The process to go to this step is the same as the first question. Start taking baby steps. Start taking the first step and the rests God will lead you through.

I am new and I am not a Christian by name yet but I am trying by following the steps I mentioned. I do not know if this helps to those who come across this post and I hope I do not misguide anything. Surrendering my all is not an easy task for myself as well. I am still holding on to the armrest of my throne each time I want to get up. That is why I said saying is easy, acting out is hard. However, as long as you the determination and will power, everything will be made alright by Him.

That's all for today. Shall continue next week. 

Dear..

in these two weeks time, i have received a few bad news from my mom regarding the health of my relative and my family members. these people are people who i adore or too young to be sick in that way.

Dear God,
i do not wish for many luxurious things in my life. my main objectives are the people i am close to especially my family members and relatives to stay strong and healthy. i wish that you, Lord is able to fulfill this wish of mine. i hope that You will be able to look after them when i am not by their sides to show my concerns and my care. it's just disheartening to see such situations and receiving these news when i am in the middle of stressful period.

i am giving my very best to stay strong throughout this semester. i love to see happy people around me when i am down because indirectly they literally make burst out into laughter with their silly jokes and actions. from there, my unhappiness will eventually fade away. i am glad when it works this way. however, i do get annoyed easily when people become down and emo over petty issues. if it is for important or big matters then i understand but not silly things. life is too short to spend the time being sorrow and sad because the time being cheerful and happy is already so limited! Don't you think so? in the 24 hours that i have, i have wasted so much time being busy but thank god of people around me who insert their laughter and smiles in between the minutes and seconds in my life. the period of time is small but it means the world. you will never know how such small actions bring impact to your daily lives.

however, with this thought of mine, sometimes i felt that i am little to selfish because i set my expectation high. i expect that everyone should think like me where of course each individual has their own opinion on how to live their lives. because of that i expect them to understand what is it to be happy-go-lucky that i have forgotten to put myself in their shoes. 

i hate being sad and down and emo and stress and cry and angry. there are too much negativities for me to handle! these elements shall be eliminated one by one as my life goes on.. Dear God, this is another selfish wish that i wish. haha

Amen. 

梦梦梦

昨晚我做了一个梦。我梦见他。好像这是第一次掉眼泪。那个梦感觉起来很正。梦里面讲的故事讲回我们以前忽略对方的时候。但是在梦里，我做的决定跟现在做的决定是不一样。到现在我做了那个决定是对吗？放下一切是对的吗？
梦里，是他的朋友讲了东西过后我才主动打电话给他。虽然那时候他讲他没空但是他讲他会打回给我。然后我就醒了 =.=
为是么不开心的东西要找我？我已经够烦了！现在我会把我的烦恼转去运动。这是一件好事但是我怕多一下子我就会慢慢的放弃了〜如果发生这样的话我就死定了因为我会转会吃的方向！！我的运动就白费哈哈哈！

他的存在

这几天我的生活有一点点的改变。我觉得我有慢慢的接受他了。我信他多少我还不知道。但是我会接受他的存在。他会让我感受他是在我身边一路来有在我背后帮着我。我希望我会加倍努力去学多一点他的事。多了解。
我最大的求是让我的家人和我身边的朋友都平平安安和喜乐。其他的事情是我们的秘密呵呵。

后悔有什么用？加油！

今天心情没有那么好。自信放了太高。跌倒的是后真的会很伤心。好像以前都没有感觉到这样的情绪。可能长大了，全部事情都变了更重要。可以讲我浪费太多时间做些无聊的事，过后没有把应该做的事做完。我可以怪谁呢？哈哈。
现在才要后悔好像太迟 ＞＜

Chinese post maybe?

每一个星期四晚上我都会上很闷的课。每一次都在发呆而已。真是浪费时间。是他不会教书还是我不能专心？但是不是我一个人觉得而已。其他人都在发呆吗。不止闷，还有很热！没有冷气！救命啊！
我只是在练习我的华语。没有话题就讲废话吧！

obstacles are common in life

I guess I take life too easily?

Whenever you are not prepared most, it's the time when troubles find you. It's an alarm bell to ring you out from your beautiful perfect world to this cruel reality. Sometimes it slaps you hard on your face, sometimes it's just a mere scratch to give you that pinch of pain. Well, it definitely depends on how lucky you are.

Definitely never take things for granted. This piece of advice has been so cliche, yet so true. If you think you have everything in your finger tips, think twice.. Better yet think thrice. It is not life if you have everything under controlled. There is always a troublemaker finding its preys, messing and spicing up a little of your plans. It makes you feel anxious, that anxiety is the feeling that keeps you moving. Otherwise, what a dull life you'll be living.

We, humans are needed to be let down once in awhile. Benefit that we can gain is to know how much desire we want for that specific thing or someone. A strong desire drives you to success (or at least the satisfaction of being near there), a weak desire leads you nowhere. The rejection is the force that produce a better you, changing you to be a better person.

Agree or disagree?

its a struggle to adapt to different personalities and there will be a point where it says "let it go". then there is when you draw yourself out from the circle you've made. just wait for the energy to be energized and try again hoping that it isnt too late.

stupid line

the bad line has finally taking its toll on me. i am finally feeling the anger other students felt 2 months ago. my anger came a little slower than it should be because i have been patient. but today i don't know why, bad mood seems to be awaken in the end.

Anyway, i have been listening to the theme song of the movie You Are the Apple of My Eye over and over for about 30 times or so. It seems that the guy and the girl did not have a happy ending, the guy just watched her getting married to somebody else. Still waiting to watch the movie.

Well, life is no fairytale where the guy meets the girl, fall in love, and happily ever after. Each and every relationship has its ups and downs, obstacles, rejections. Not every human being are able to stand strong and face it. Some will tend to back out, give up and walk away. We decide the road we want to walk, if the path chosen was wrong, there will be no undo button. We can only see the footsteps we left behind, learn the mistake and do not repeat the same mistake. Last but not least, be kind and give blessings.

I have never watched any love movies for quite a while. I've always preferred the sad ones LOL

Good food has been haunting me. It's calling me. Sirens going on and on. The food here has not been satisfying, it just makes me want to eat more because it is not satisfying. Last time, getting McD is so easy, now.. it is like far beyond my reach. Food seriously affects my mood. I have no idea how it started but food plays a vital role in my life.

Second thing, at university phase, it's not easy to get exercises with answers and solutions. They are so limited and only with a book reference i am counting on. When I want to be all hardworking and staying focus, I have no materials to do so. During form 6, I have all the materials I needed and I did not bother to look over. This feels like a payback. Revenge from education, letting me feel how is it like to be neglected =.=

Next, I don't think I like to deal with the machines, things that got to do with mechanical? I guess? Tiny circuits interest me more perhaps?

I have a favor to ask. Can you give me ?

I need guidance. I need protection. I need wisdom. I need strategy. I need courage. I need energy. I need direction.

I am not asking too much. I suppose.

I seriously need to get rid of my craziness in form 6. I should only use it when it is necessary. Overused is actually quite tiring at times but if I have too much to give, what am I supposed to do? Just got to learn how to save for emergency purposes. LOL.

I am still unsure whether am I more to introvert or extrovert. I feel unsafe whenever I am too extrovert and I feel lonely when I am too introvert. I guess everyone is normally 50 50. Anyway, I do not want to repeat the mistake in the past. It is wrong and I know it. There should be a border line in every action.

While I am listening to We are the world song for the Haiti, I feel the necessity to lend a hand. But if we are not able to help our own people, how much can we do for them ? I guess to practice that, we need to start bit by bit for people around us. Any type of help will do as long as you do not hope for a return.

I always visualize myself doing charity and become volunteer for other 3rd world countries but it's all in my mind. I am not that bold to do so but I hope one day, that one day will come and I will accomplish that task starting from my country and the list goes on.

Is suffer needed in this world? But if it does not exist, people will not learn and change.

In UMP

Settling down here at University Malaysia Pahang campus Pekan. This university has two campuses, where the other one is located at Gambang. It is about an hour drive by bus from Pekan. Yes, it is very rural, as the 30 minutes driveway out of my university consists of empty lands. After that half an hour drive, you will start to see buildings and shopping malls. I would say the area at Kuantan is something like our Penang's mainland. Yes, still not likable by many Penangnites. Water shortage has been occurring for the past few days and we bathed at public toilets in the lecture building. This is not something you guys will get to do in your comfort zone. I call it experience! Cows and cow dungs are common objects to be seen but it is us that are invading their territory. Everything is new so I shall consider that as lucky as some other universities out there do not provide these advantage for them. To get good food, sacrifice some time to go out there and explore. Good food will not come to you if you do not reach out for them.

Many of my friends asked me how is it here? Can survive or not? Lol

I am here for 2 weeks already and surprisingly I am fine with it here. Hard to believe, yet it is the truth. Transferring from a happening state (well, KL comes first) to rural area is very eye-opening. I have to do everything here by myself when back at home, mom did the chores. Here I wash my own clothes, clean my own room, have my own meals with what is provided. It is definitely a life changing from me but it makes me independent and my survival mode is turned on! The very first is to make friends with people all over Malaysia. I came here solo with no companion but I fear not. With fear, I will accomplish nothing. So the friendship process goes on and students here are nice and friendly because we are going through the same problem. Being stuck up serves no purpose in this environment. In conclusion, I like it how I will be trained here. Anyone can be trained anywhere even in private universities but the environment differs from place to place.

It is quite wrong to judge your future based on the place you are in. You choose how you would like to lead your life and if you are able to, anywhere is not a problem. But if you fail to visualize and be optimistic, your life will be lead by others. Of course, if one has a better offer, choose wisely.

P/s: these are only part of my rants, I have a lot to share but this is sufficient on how i feel. 3 years and 11 months more to go !

To Leave

How easy is it to leave? Leaving your family, partner, friends and etc? Being away from somewhere your comfort zone lies.. Im so attached to what i feel good. So, leaving it is actually difficult for me. If you are away but just a short distance, it's alright. Not when you're miles away and to meet up is counting by months. This is a test i know. A test where not everyone takes but God arranged. Able to live through it or not, not depending only on me. But also the other half/party.

The feeling is so reluctant right now. One side of my brain is thinking why cant i be simple and take up something over here while the other side thinking why not accept this challenge and give a try what lies in front of me. Who actually knows what's the correct pathway to lead. People do seek fortune tellers for their lives ahead. Sometime i thought of giving a try, but im just too afraid of what answer will be given to me. What if its bad and knowing you have a rough road ahead is depressing.

If it's not meant to be mine, why force? I guess there is always something waiting for me in the future =]

The first

I am not the type who expresses everything to anyone not even my close buddies. I just feel it is safest with me than letting another person knows what's up on my mind. Although that's my preference but sometimes i do wish i am able to open up like the rest and share to ask opinions but.. oh well, i am learning.

Things change over the years. People need to accept the changes and live with it but sometimes it's not easy when it involves your emotions in it. You cant pretend to be the same like the past, it's just awkward at times. But i would prefer to stay quiet and keeps the feelings to myself so that i wont cause a mess and just go with the flow. That's just me.

So, not many know my ups and downs and maybe even when i pass away one day i would choose not to let people know? Lol.

It's not true what you see on the surface sometimes until you take the effort and time to dig through it =]

boring registration

Woke up at 7.40 a.m today once the alarm clock rang. I was very proud i was able to wake up. Heh. When I got to PFS, there were many students from my ex school that are entering form 6 too. A small suprise to me. Besides that, I found out that there's about half of my friends are transferring out from the school to MBS, CLHS, SXI, and SGGS. We felt odd in the compound. Seeing strangers and pathways we hardly go through.

Activities held between 9 a.m to 2 p.m. :

• stood under the sun to check hair
• check nails (i forgotten to cut mine xD)
• ceramah and ucapan for hours
• singing session ( koay yi lin was obsessed with PFS school song)
• sembang session
• laughing session
• joking session

Eventhough I sat down the whole time, my legs are aching.

tell me whyyyyy..

back to school ! Yay or Aww ?

Woah ! it has been months since i last updated.
Guess what ?
Im going back to sch TOMORROW ! Look, i have been rotting on this Penang island for about half year/ 6 months/ 183 days/ 4392 hours/ 263520 minutes/15811200 seconds. Most of the time i was shaking leg and abandoned this blog (again) and only start to post a new entry on the day before school starts.

I actually form 6 uniform is kind of nice.
(tht's probably because i have not been wearing uniform for 6 months which i used to wear for 11 years. LOL)
One thing that i dont have to worry is clothes. If i were to enter college instead, ill be having headaches on what is going to be my attire for the next day. Or ill spend hours on choosing and matching the right pair.

I am wondering how long will i take to adapt in school life again. It wont be long =)

I'll be attending the registration at Penang Free School tomorrow at 9a.m. It might sound a normal time for people out there but it's REALLY EARLY for me as i hardly wake up before 11a.m or 12 p.m. during the break i had. However, I am appealing for a transfer to study in CLHS instead. I do hear that the school's students are competitive and full with fighting spirit. That's something I really need to push me over my limit in studying. I do have to admit I can be really lazy at times. Besides, my cousin is going to be there and it was my father's ex school. I cant read or write chinese very well but at least i understand. I wonder is anyone there willingly to translate to english for me. Okay, hokkien will do fine as well. LOL

Dear readers (there;s hardly anymore xD),
IT'S LATE AND I HAVE TO SLEEP. STOP READING AFTER THE FULLSTOP FOR THIS POST, BYE .

new christmas celebration

Can anyone ring me about what did i do on christmas eve or christmas ?

Right after i typed the sentence above, i remember =)

Well, i think this is my first celebration of christmas with christians that celebrate christmas ? lol
I joined Xin min (bestari class monitor) this year with ZiXin, Janice, Adelene, Tiffany & Florence. I am clueless about how many presents should i bring and I wrapped 2 pairs of earrings thinking that the present was for her.. MANA TAU.. it's for exhange gift
* praying whole night that a female get my present *

Xin Min the Host with her boyf planned some games. And they brief us about what christmas & santa are about.. Half listening half not xD
During the exchange gift part, the number of our presents are written on ping pong balls and are put in the baby pool.. We took off our heels and straight into the pool.
Very lucky, i got Tiffany's present.. And And thank god, a female got my present.

If it was a guy, I was ready to tell " give your gf " LOL

I will upload the pics later on. Lazy these days =)
usual me.. walalala